From developer's website:
Intelligent composing assistance
You don't have to be a musical genius to lay down beautiful harmonies (really? Well I suppose you can be a mailman or bank-clerk and you can still do it)
And the best line of marketing to musical cripples I've yet seen, by far:
Want to specify both the first and final chords but have no clue how to get there? The powerful new Chord Assistant (blah, blah, blah...)
What a crime Wagner couldn't get his hands on a Cubased laptop when he embarked on the composition of The Ring... Poor man struggled for years on end to generate his timeless epic, when less than 150 years since he could have just specified the two chords that begin and complete the saga, and I.Q.base 7 would have filled in the unimportant bits in the middle in a matter of minutes. What-a-crime! He could have spent those decades instead working on the nuances of the mix... For that takes time!... Combining the right filters, dialling that knob to quantum level precision to get that distortion "just right". Use the breath controller to make that - otherwise malodorous - oboe line smell truer, etc. I mean who has time for the actual music when the mix is so demanding and time-consuming?...
So long as you spend days on the right I.R.s combinations, pre-delay amounts, early responses, tails, and general ambience with the three most expensive hardware reverbs and effects in the world, a c minor string triad stuttering in an excruciatingly obvious pattern is transformed into music; it becomes note-worthy, and it bears absolutely no resemblance to pipe steaming side-chained turds served on a 7.1 surround silver platter.
So, remember composters, spend three minutes on the composition, and three weeks on the mix. That's the Beethoven and Williams ticket right there! You look just fabulous in Armani my friend; it really obscures your 180 kilos.... Honest!...
P.S.1: Why doesn't the Chord "Assistant" write the whole thing? Why ask the user to decide on the first and final chords? Where is the benefit in that? To provide the illusion that one had actually something to do with the creation of the track? Only someone with the superb combination of vanity and cretinism would dare claim authorship.
I know! I'll give the first and the final words to Microsoft Author, and it will write my own best-seller. Of course it's mine. Following Microsoft's "assistance" in generating 300 pages of action, as well as characters and their development, I picked the fonts!
P.S.2: Steinberg is not the only company advertising: It's all just a click away... So do Smith & Wesson. Go ahead composeurs, put us out of your misery forever. Make our day...
