Please give a complete amateur some constructive criticism

[Shawn Gibson]

I'm having a very bad weekend, for non-musical reasons.

I've been trying to write, not much is happening. But I'd like to share this with you because, if any time, now is the time to ask. I am not a professional and I'm just trying to get what's in my head, into music. It's all VSL with the exception of an EW erhu. It is only partly written (Based on the poem I wrote, it's probably going to be at least 10 minutes long) and well...you'll hear all the mistakes. I'm just trying to be a writer, not an expert musician:

https://soundcloud.com/shawngibson1969/sharon

One of these days, I'll actually get a full song written and someone will say "I really liked that" but until then, I'm asking for you to please listen and give advice.

Merci:)

Shawn

[Fiver]

Ahoy Shawn!
I'd love to give a single man's opinion on the piece. Here's my rundown:

0.00 - I very much like the texture of the opening.

0.20 - Similarly, the color here is very enjoyable: the celeste and chimes together mixes excellently in the high registers, while the piano takes the middle ones, and the bass pizzicatos fill out the bottom.

0.35 - Around this spot, I felt like the piece's slowing and broken beat felt more 'lost' and 'enervated' than 'calming' or 'rebuilding'.

0.43 - The dryness of these woodwinds really distracted me and took me out of the piece, unfortunately.

1.15 - I personally didn't care for the solo instrument choice at this spot.

1.39 - I like the faster movement here: feels like we're building up to a bit of a climax.

That's my take on the whole thing: hope it helps! If you want to pay me back, I'm looking for suggestions on my mixing (and maybe orchestration) for this short theme:

Reduced Redemption Theme


Any advice would be helpful!
- Evan

[Beat Kaufmann]

Hi Shawn

Just two tipps for the mix:

1) It seems to me that all the instruments are placed more or less randomly - and I do not mean just from the left to the right but also in the depth.

It would probably help to draw a virtual stage containing your orchestra. Try then to get these placements also acoustically.

(I don't say that this will be easy...)

2) As written above: There are very dry "soloists" which not seem to play in the same room than the other instruments:

If you really want to have such "close" soloists - no problem but  then I would insert an algorithmic reverb in the output channel for giving a little bit of "reverb-tail" over all.

This will "glou together" all the different depths and instruments into one and the same room so that the problem "not in the same room" will be solved.

Go on your way and collect experinces in using samples.

I wish you a lot of success

All the best

Beat

[Jos Wylin]

Hi Shawn,

I can't otherwise than agree with Beat. It is a good thing that you've transferred your musical ideas into sound, but that requires some agreement on the way how to do this. An orchestra has musicians (individuals and sections) and they all have a seat somewhere on the (virtual) stage. The recording equipment is situated in a spot to capture the entire ensemble, sometimes assisted by individual microphones. In your mix, it seems that there's no such order and that all individual instruments are captured in different ways. That results in a confusing balance with unnatural volumes and strange spacial impressions (relative distance of the instruments).

Beat is a master in these matters. It would be wise to listen carefully to his experienced words.

All the best [;)]

Max