Hi!
I am really sorry if you know this. I do not think you are stupid, but your situation sounded all too familiar, hence my humble response:
Have you thought to bounce your ready project as a stereo file?
My PowerBook G4 1.25 GHz with 2 GB RAM does not take even near that many plug-ins as you mentioned.
So, as I work, I use only one VI software instrument, route its output to Bus 1, create new audio track and select its input "Bus 1", record Vienna tracks to that audio track and create more new audio tracks as needed.
When I use Ivory piano or some other software instrument (RA, Miroslav), I right-click next to right side of the track name in the Arrange window, select "Configure track headers...", select "Freeze" to be visible, set the end locator of the song, click the snowflake symbol next to track name and click play.
The computer calculates an audio file offline and stores it inside your session folder into the folder called "Freeze Files". They are essentially AIFF files that computer plays back from there, although they seem invisible in the session. You can change track volumes while frozen, nut if try something else, computer asks you to unfreeze track. After you've done your edits, click snowflake again and press play, it is calculated again.
My friend did not know this while mixing an album on MacBook, and this saved his day.
I would suggest that you just bounce the whole song out and play a stereo file to your friends. That's what I do.
All the best,
Hannu Ala
VI SE & SE Plus
Finland